Over the last few weeks, I sometimes have to pause at the utter ridiculousness of the phrases and thoughts that run through my itty bitty brain. Things I have never imagined myself ever having to think or say before.
So, in hopes I never, ever forget this season of my life (like I ever could), I am documenting some of these crazy scenarios.
1. Don't break anything! We CANNOT go to the emergency room!
This one I say at least 8 times a day. When you have a gymnast/cheerleader in your midst who likes to throw backhandsprings at any given time or place, it is a legit fear that she is going to break her neck. "Do not do something stupid that is going to end us up in an emergency room full of diseased people. Don't. Just don't. Sit your butt down and stop tumbling. Forever."
2. Did you brush your teeth today? Because most dentist offices are closed and if you have a cavity it isn't gonna be easy to find someome to fix it. Have you had tooth pain before? Brush your fricken teeth!
This is similar to number one. I'll admit, sometimes I get through half of the day and realize, crap, I didn't brush my teeth. The thing is, I usually brush my teeth in the morning before I leave the house and when you aren't going anywhere, I legit forget until I realize my teeth feel furry. Ew! Brush your teeth. If anything for the people you are stuck in isolation with. Blech.... Dragon breath. Nuff said.
3. Grocery shopping is like going to battle
I have learned, as the primary grocery getter for our household (lucky me), I have to mentally and emotionally prepare myself to get ready for grocery shopping trips.
First, make sure you have a list because if any of you are like me, I like to get in and get out as quickly as possible. I feel like I'm on the 80s show Supermarket Sweep. Get out of my way, because I am going full throttle in there and I am not responsible for anyone who gets in my way. Secondly, do you have your protective equipment ready? Masks, sanitizer, gloves - whatever your combo is, make sure you are prepared. I feel like I should carry around a tool belt or briefcase with my collection of paraphanilia.
And if you were able to get the groceries you were hoping for (which is not a guarantee these days), then you have to get them from your car into your house so you can spend another hour disinfecting every single thing you brought in. And if you've survived that part, then you get the joy of disinfecting yourself - purse, glasses, clothes, body parts. I'm having an anxiety attack just thinking of it right now. BARF!
4. My leftover game has never been so fierce
I have never in my life been more aware of the food I have in my house. I can tell you exactly how many cans of beans we have, how much dog food is left in the pantry, where the ketchup bottle is speficially located in my fridge and what leftovers we have in there. Let's just say that my family is now very well trained to eat leftovers before making something new to eat. If there are any scraps of leftover food, you best be eating them first or mama will come for you. Be warned.
This pandemic has given me so much more of an appreciation for the food we have and making sure none of it goes to waste. Don't get me wrong, this has always been on my radar but not to this extent. This is next level awareness... and I like it.
5. Toilet paper.... my precious
This is sort of along the same lines as #4. Before this Covid life, I never, ever, ever paid attention to the amount of toilet paper I used because, frankly, I never worried I'd run out! For one thing, my husband has always been the one who keeps track of toilet paper in the house. I think he already had some weird fear of running out. So I never worried about it - he always knew when we were running low. But man, now.... Looking at it flush down the drain, it hits me in the feels every. single. time.
I saw someone tweet today: "Every time I finish a roll of toilet paper, it feels like a petal falling off the enchanted rose in Beauty and the Beast." I mean, that is exactly how I feel every time we finish another rose... I mean roll. It's tragic. Ugh... and I miss Disney World while we're on the subject.
All kidding aside, I know this period in our lives was put here to teach us lessons. We had become reckless with our consumption, how we treat our bodies, how we treat the planet and how we treat each other - let's be honest, something had to give. What we were doing was not working and it had been weighing heavy on me for years but I didn't know how we were ever going to stop the chaos.
God, Mother Nature, the Universe (whatever you're into) knows best. We are not in charge. We are part of this big picture but we are just pieces of the puzzle. My hope is that we don't just get through this season having survived but not taking in the valuable lessons it is teaching us. My hope is that we don't return to the way things were because, honestly, they weren't working for us.
I will never again take for granted the food in my cupboards, the toilet paper in my bathroom, a simple trip to the grocery store, a walk in the park and a hug from someone I love. I hope at the very least, this moment in our lives stays with us even just for a while and that we build on the important lessons we've learned.
