New Body, New Confusion

Along with major weight loss comes a flood of comments from other people about your changing figure. It's a strange thing, really. The comments are usually kind and talking about how I'm "looking good" as most people put it, but that in itself is strange to me.

Part of me is elated that people see the hard work and want me to know that I look nice. Then part of me is confused that my value, at least in other people's eyes, has changed. Like I'm worthy of hearing comments about my appearance now that I'm thinner. There are people in my life that never commented on my looks, no matter how pretty I felt: perfect makeup, beautiful clothes, etc. Now that I'm thinner, they will throw compliments my way all the time. Huh?

August 2015 vs August 2016

"Looking Good, Baby!"

I've also noticed the attention I get from men (other than my husband) has changed. Lots of "you're looking hot" or "pretty" or "you're really looking good". The attention is obviously nice to have but part of me feels like - but it's still me! It's just the shell that's changed. Am I more valuable now? I'm really only hot when I achieve a certain size?

"You're Going To Disappear!"

I've also had people comment about their surprise that I still have 30 lbs to lose. Yesterday a neighbour said "where are you going to lose from?" She hasn't seen me naked! I've got some major muffin top issues, people. My legs and boobs are shrinking but my tummy is standing its ground.

Moving Forward

I know most of these comments are meant to be flattering but sometimes it makes me think of the girl who was a little chubbier. Was she less lovable to the world because she was heavy? Makes me really sad sometimes. Because she's still me. She's still in there trying to figure this out. She's where I came from.

So if you are someone in my life - don't worry, you can mention my weight loss. It does really make me happy to hear the work is noticeable to other people. The problem is how do I wrap my little brain around this.

How do I honour the heavier girl who still lives inside me? How do I remind her she is just as valuable?