Five Things That Never Crossed My Mind Before Covid 19

It is absolutely insane how our lives have done a completely 360 in less than a month. It does demonstrate, however, how adaptable we as humans can be. And girl... when we need to make changes because it means life or death, wow, can people can get their shit together!

Over the last few weeks, I sometimes have to pause at the utter ridiculousness of the phrases and thoughts that run through my itty bitty brain. Things I have never imagined myself ever having to think or say before.

So, in hopes I never, ever forget this season of my life (like I ever could), I am documenting some of these crazy scenarios.

1. Don't break anything! We CANNOT go to the emergency room!
This one I say at least 8 times a day. When you have a gymnast/cheerleader in your midst who likes to throw backhandsprings at any given time or place, it is a legit fear that she is going to break her neck. "Do not do something stupid that is going to end us up in an emergency room full of diseased people. Don't. Just don't. Sit your butt down and stop tumbling. Forever."

2. Did you brush your teeth today? Because most dentist offices are closed and if you have a cavity it isn't gonna be easy to find someome to fix it. Have you had tooth pain before? Brush your fricken teeth!
This is similar to number one. I'll admit, sometimes I get through half of the day and realize, crap, I didn't brush my teeth. The thing is, I usually brush my teeth in the morning before I leave the house and when you aren't going anywhere, I legit forget until I realize my teeth feel furry. Ew! Brush your teeth. If anything for the people you are stuck in isolation with. Blech.... Dragon breath. Nuff said.

3. Grocery shopping is like going to battle
I have learned, as the primary grocery getter for our household (lucky me), I have to mentally and emotionally prepare myself to get ready for grocery shopping trips.

First, make sure you have a list because if any of you are like me, I like to get in and get out as quickly as possible. I feel like I'm on the 80s show Supermarket Sweep. Get out of my way, because I am going full throttle in there and I am not responsible for anyone who gets in my way. Secondly, do you have your protective equipment ready? Masks, sanitizer, gloves - whatever your combo is, make sure you are prepared. I feel like I should carry around a tool belt or briefcase with my collection of paraphanilia.

And if you were able to get the groceries you were hoping for (which is not a guarantee these days), then you have to get them from your car into your house so you can spend another hour disinfecting every single thing you brought in. And if you've survived that part, then you get the joy of disinfecting yourself - purse, glasses, clothes, body parts. I'm having an anxiety attack just thinking of it right now. BARF!

4. My leftover game has never been so fierce
I have never in my life been more aware of the food I have in my house. I can tell you exactly how many cans of beans we have, how much dog food is left in the pantry, where the ketchup bottle is speficially located in my fridge and what leftovers we have in there. Let's just say that my family is now very well trained to eat leftovers before making something new to eat. If there are any scraps of leftover food, you best be eating them first or mama will come for you. Be warned.

This pandemic has given me so much more of an appreciation for the food we have and making sure none of it goes to waste. Don't get me wrong, this has always been on my radar but not to this extent. This is next level awareness... and I like it.


5. Toilet paper.... my precious
This is sort of along the same lines as #4. Before this Covid life, I never, ever, ever paid attention to the amount of toilet paper I used because, frankly, I never worried I'd run out! For one thing, my husband has always been the one who keeps track of toilet paper in the house. I think he already had some weird fear of running out. So I never worried about it - he always knew when we were running low. But man, now.... Looking at it flush down the drain, it hits me in the feels every. single. time.

I saw someone tweet today: "Every time I finish a roll of toilet paper, it feels like a petal falling off the enchanted rose in Beauty and the Beast." I mean, that is exactly how I feel every time we finish another rose... I mean roll. It's tragic. Ugh... and I miss Disney World while we're on the subject.


All kidding aside, I know this period in our lives was put here to teach us lessons. We had become reckless with our consumption, how we treat our bodies, how we treat the planet and how we treat each other - let's be honest, something had to give. What we were doing was not working and it had been weighing heavy on me for years but I didn't know how we were ever going to stop the chaos.

God, Mother Nature, the Universe (whatever you're into) knows best. We are not in charge. We are part of this big picture but we are just pieces of the puzzle. My hope is that we don't just get through this season having survived but not taking in the valuable lessons it is teaching us. My hope is that we don't return to the way things were because, honestly, they weren't working for us.

I will never again take for granted the food in my cupboards, the toilet paper in my bathroom, a simple trip to the grocery store, a walk in the park and a hug from someone I love. I hope at the very least, this moment in our lives stays with us even just for a while and that we build on the important lessons we've learned.

The Year Where I Choose Love Over Fear

Last year, 2017, was filled with so much anxiety for me. Most of it was rooted in my health but it trickled into so many aspects of my life. It made me question the steps I had taken to become healthy. Were the choices I was making right for me? I had lost 65lbs (80 total from my heaviest point) but while the body might get there relatively quickly, the mind and the soul take a little longer to catch up.

The truth is in 2017 I lived a lot in fear and not in love.

I feel a shift for 2018 not just in me, but in the world in general. I feel like we are shifting from a place of fear back to a place of love. We're not focusing on getting skinny, we're focusing on health. We're not focusing on our differences, we are focusing on our similarities. We're not letting government, media and other corporations tell us their version of the truth, we are looking for answers in each other. We are shifting towards love.

Can you imagine how much power this will give us in our lives, 

our families and our communities?

Last year, I stressed about maintaining my weight. I stressed about failing and gaining the weight back. I felt alone when I chose a different path towards healing my relationship with food. There was so much fear there. So much darkness. I always say that anxiety feels like being trapped in your own mind. It is dark, scary and so lonely. But that's the time you need to reach outside yourself and look for the light.

The light exists in everything around us. In the sweetness of your child's voice. It's in that comforting conversation over peppermint tea with an old friend, (Merci Janelle! xoxo) It's the kind comments you get from your online tribe of friends who understand your struggle and let you know you don't struggle alone. It's knowing that we never have to be alone. People have our back. Always.

This year, I choose love. I choose to make time for myself to connect with my girl squad. We as women need to lift each other up and take care of each other.

I choose to make time for me to listen to old records that make my soul happy, and to have conversations with my mom when I need a kick in the pants. Especially in those moments when fear shadows over love.

I choose whole health. I choose to go in my room, put some essential oils in my diffuser, close my eyes and breathe. 

I choose to put foods in my body that don't cause me to struggle with my food addiction. Those toxic foods that bring fear back into my soul: I don't want them. They are not welcome in my temple.

I choose to surround myself with bright souls who make my light sparkle even brighter. I don't have room for people who steal my light.

I will continue to strengthen my spiritual connection with God and all things around me. Because we are all interconnected.

And as I have for many years, I will start and end my day with gratitude. If you don't do this already - it completely changes your perspective on life. It will have you starting and ending your day in love.

So that's it. It's both simple and complicated. It's easy in theory but it will require work and focus but eventually, the light will dominate. I feel the shift happening for all of us but we just have to work towards it.

Doctor Wayne Dyer has a beautiful podcast about Love and Fear. You can find it here. I highly suggest you take a listen.

And tomorrow marks my first full week on the ONE3ONE Diet and I plan to share all my thoughts and pictures. Eek - I'm not scared. I'm choosing bravery and love :D

2018 IS THE YEAR OF LOVE

She Learned More So She Could Do More

It's been nearly two years since I decided I had to take my health back. I had been listening to inspiring podcasts and reading inspiring books about taking the plunge but I idly waited on the sidelines because I was scared to jump in. Scared to fail, scared to restrict my diet, scared my addiction would win as it always did.

But shockingly, I lost weight. I lost weight fast.  65 lbs in 7-8 months. Weight loss happened as long as I did the right things. But doing the right things was hard because the food addiction was always there. It's always there throwing up barriers.

It's Not All About The Numbers
But weight loss was just a great side effect of what was really happening. The magic was that I was gathering knowledge. Knowledge that was helping set in motion a journey that wasn't about weight loss. It was about getting my body, my mind and my spirit in balance.

Over the last 3 to 4 years, I've continued to listen to amazing health podcasts like The Fat Burning Man, The Chalene Show, Fasting Talk with Jimmy Moore and The Obesity Code podcast. I read books like The Keto Diet, The Obesity Code, The Complete Guide to Fasting. These ideas were new and definitely controversial but the studies and results people were seeing were undeniable. And I'm not just talking about smaller waistlines. I mean reversal of actual, scary diseases.

The Road Not Taken
My path started in one direction but as I absorbed more and more knowledge, I had to tweak, modify and sometimes go in my own direction to find what would work best for me. Not just for the short term but for a whole life of balanced health. And not just for me but for my family. If I can stop them from dealing with obesity, frightening diseases and nurture them to excellent health, it's worth the ups and downs. It's worth walking the path alone sometimes.

I'm starting the ONE3ONE Diet on Monday, January 1st. Not a new start but an evolution of where I started. Knowledge is power and the more I know, the more I realize I have so much to learn. This program is based on the research Chalene Johnson has done over many years of interviewing experts and, as one of her loyal followers for many years, I trust she has put all the pieces together. This nutritional plan isn't about weight loss, which is obviously a perk, it's about healing the gut, balancing hormones and improving metabolism. I truly believe my former calorie restrictive diet damaged me in many, many ways but it particularly wrecked my metabolism. It is so sluggish - I have to fix that.

I plan to share my ONE3ONE Diet experience here as accountability and to give insight to those of you who are interested but don't quite understand what it's all about. I hope you'll follow along!

In just over a year, I will be 40. I plan to enter the best years of my life being the best version of me. January 1st, 2018 - you will be my most important anniversary date ever.

A Long Fast Post

It's been a while since I wrote a blog post. Partially because I was really busy over the last 5 months but mostly it was because I was struggling with maintaining my weight. I was unmotivated, uninspired, trying all the things that were "supposed" to work but nothing was working. My weight was creeping up (back to 203lbs) and the fear I had from the moment I started Weight Watchers again was coming true. I was gaining the weight back again just like I had the other 4 times.

Everything worked pretty well for the first 7 months or so but I was having a lot of new health problems: I was cold all the time, I was having horrible heart palpitations, my anxiety was the worst it had been in a long time, I was losing hair more than usual and I found out I was anemic. I just assumed all of this was weight loss related. I found out later it definitely was but it had more to do about the way I lost weight.

After 8 months of losing weight pretty consistently, I plateaued. I was eating around 1100 calories a day (I cross tracked with My Fitness Pal to see where I was at) and I was doing hard core exercise every day. The scale wouldn't budge. The advice I got was to switch things up by calorie cycling and carb cycling. I was told to do more cardio... I was told it will eventually break but it didn't. But now I was more frustrated, more exhausted and I felt like it was all my fault.

Fast forward to June when my friend suggested I read a book called The Obesity Code: Unlocking the Secrets of Weight Loss by Dr. Jason Fung. I am always happy to read health related books. I love learning different ideas when it comes to figuring out how to be the healthiest version of me.

I started reading the book that night and stayed up until 2am reading it. I was relieved, pissed, excited and validated.... The most important take away - the reason I got fat was NOT my fault. It was because of insulin resistance. It was a hormonal issue and no amount of exercise and calorie restricting was going to keep the weight off. I had to address the insulin issue.

The second take away... The A-HA moment if you will... my anemia, anxiety, hair loss, palpitations, etc. were all due to having restricted my calories so much. When your body is used to having a certain amount of fuel and then all of a sudden is deprived of that same amount of fuel, it has to turn down your metabolism so you don't die. What does that mean... well my hair couldn't grow the same, my heart wasn't pumping the same, I was cold because my body didn't have enough energy to keep itself warm, I wasn't making the same amount of red blood cells, and so on. My metabolism was shot hence the plateau and all the other issues.

The third take away, intermittent fasting allows your insulin to go down and helps to reverse insulin resistance. I had heard of the F word for about three years via podcasts like The Fat Burning Man and The Chalene Show. It was something I just dabbled in a few times a week but never really talked about much. Did you know people freak out when you say you aren't eating? Yeah, they lose their shit. And don't even suggest that they should think about fasting. That really gets people out with pitchforks... It's not pretty.

But here's the thing. Fasting is OLD news. Jesus, Buddha, so many others... all the biggies talked about fasting because they knew of its benefits: clarity, energy, euphoria... They wanted their followers to do it because they knew it was essential to health and well being.

You know what's a NEW fad? Eating every two hours, nibbling on processed garbage. That's only about 50 years old. And when did humans who ate this way started getting fat? Yup. Right around that same time. Humans were not meant to eat all the time! In hunter/gatherer societies, food wasn't always available but when it was, it was time to feast. But feast was always followed by fast because there wasn't always food available. But the human body is a marvel. It takes energy in the form of glucose and stores it as fat so when we don't have food, it burns the STORED FAT by turning it into glucose or energy. See? But now that people are constantly eating, their body just burns the easiest available glucose which comes in all day long through food. We don't have opportunities to burn that stored fat. UNLESS WE FAST.

After reading the book, I immediately started intermittent fasting and eating a low carb high fat diet. It had been drilled into my head (although I never bought it) that healthy fats should be avoided because they were SO high in calories. Now that I've changed my diet to incorporate less processed garbage and more healthy fats... I don't get hungry. I don't binge eat and I feel less bloated.

But for me, the magic happens in my fasting. As a compulsive overeater, when I was calorie restricting for weight loss, I was hungry all the time, I would binge eat multiple times a week and I felt constant guilt for being such a failure when I did binge. It was no way to live but I didn't have a choice because these were the only options available to you when you wanted to lose weight: exercise lots and eat less.

Fasting has given me power over food. I started by omitting breakfast a few more times a week and then eventually switched over to 20 hour fasts every few days. (Essentially just skipping breakfast and lunch every second day.) Not eating is so much easier than eating in moderation for me. I was never very good at moderation especially with carbs. I was an addict and I just couldn't stop. As another reader of The Obesity Code said: "Food used to be my master but now it is my servant." This. It's exactly this. And I can't believe I can say that after 30 years of struggling with my weight.

After one month of a low carb high fat diet and intermittent fasting, I lost just over 8 lbs, broke my plateau, started feeling healthier again, my anxiety improved and I felt like for the first time in my life, I had found the key to tackling my food addiction. And I had no more guilt when I ate. When you have skipped two meals, you don't feel bad for enjoying a large, healthy meal. It is well deserved and it's brought enjoyment back to eating. No guilt, no counting, no obsessing... FREEDOM.

I don't talk to most people about my new healthy lifestyle because many people are scared of this fasting idea. I get it! Our first instinct as a human is to find food and eat it. It's one of our primary instincts. So when you tell someone not to eat - it freaks them out! In ancient cultures, when you found food, you ate a lot of it because you didn't know when it would be coming around again. But the problem is that we are still thinking this way but we have access to food 24 hours a day. We can't eat all day long. Because.... pssstttt... it's making us all fat! We need to take breaks from eating. Somewhere in the late 70s people started eating snacks every few hours. Before that, people just ate their 3 squares a day. Heck - even that's fasting! If people could even just do that it would likely help with some of the obesity issue.

I've since learned that there is some very promising research to suggest that a 7 day water fast once a year could potentially reduce your cancer risk and there is some talk that the autophagy process could even help prevent diseases like Alzheimers. I get so excited by this kind of info!

At the end of the day, food companies, diet companies and the pharmaceutical industry don't like fasting. Why? Because it doesn't make money!!!! People not eating, getting healthier and losing weight doesn't put cash in the pockets of these three HUGE money making industries. So they'll tell you all day long that it is bad for you, it doesn't work, it's a FAD. But luckily, you have the opportunity to do research for yourself. Read books, listen to podcasts, see how it works for others. That last one is a biggie! I follow many Facebook pages about this subject and what I'm seeing is absolutely amazing. People getting off meds, doctors completely shocked by changes in their patients, weight loss, clarity, skin tags disappearing, skin tightening... the list goes on.

I share my journey in hopes that I can help other people see their options so they can make an informed decision for themselves. Don't believe everything you hear. On any side of the story! Maybe dieting works for you. Maybe it doesn't. Maybe fasting works for you. Maybe it doesn't. But don't ever give up the fight and keep looking for the right fit for you. Maybe it's a little of column A and a little of column B.

For the first time in my life, I feel like I finally found my fit.

I Have Embraced

When I met with my therapist last week, she reminded me that what other people think of my body doesn't matter. I just need to worry about how much I love myself because that is what will carry me through. Right until the end. So here is a love letter to my body.

You came into this world loving yourself because babies and children don't know shame. They don't see size, colour and shape, they see deeper than that. They see heart, soul, love, compassion, fear, pain, honesty. At some point, around 8 years old, you started to question your value because you turned to food for comfort. All of sudden being yourself was painful and you filled that void with food. It provided a protective layer that made you invisible.

In your teens, your athletic shape made you feel fat. Even though at 5'9' you were only 155 lbs, those curvy breasts and stretched marked thighs made you feel less than. I wish I could go back in time and shake you to remind you how completely beautiful and strong you were.

Around 16, food became a huge comfort again. You gained over 100 lbs in the matter of 3 or 4 years, you were at your heaviest weight. You had been oinked at in bars, and ignored by most boys and eventually men because while you were smart, articulate and so freaking funny, You were fat. That's all you were and that's all you felt you were worth.

One day, a beautiful man loved your body and fell in love with you, every part of you. The outsides and the insides. Every day he tells you how beautiful you are but most days you don't see it. You are lucky this man is the father of your children and your partner for life.

You brought two children into this world. You got stretch marks, saggy boobs, cellulite, strange new medical issues but you got two humans. TWO HUMANS. Two perfectly imperfect beings who love you no matter how bad your breath is or how flabby your arms are. All they care about is that your lips kiss their forheads at night and that your arms comfort them when their hearts are broken. They love your boobs and tell you every day. (for real... they are obsessed. LOL) But why wouldn't they love them? Those two fleshy bits have fed them and comforted them. They love your scent because it's a mixture of your skin, Dove bar soap and likely garlic. Because you eat a lot of garlic.

You have transformed so much this year. You have curves where you didn't before. You run. Period. Considering a two minute run used to be hard, this is pretty much revolutionary to you. You can hold a plank for 1 minute. Your mind is strong, full of ideas, words, feelings, concerns. And so creative. You do SO much.

And for so many years, like a little child, you tugged at me and said "I'm here. Please take care of me." And I wanted to. I wanted to so badly but I was stuck and I wasn't ready. Finally your pleas got louder and I couldn't ignore them anymore. Sore back, no sleep, exhaustion, mood swings, depression and anxiety. You sent an SOS and I FINALLY heard it.

I'm sorry I hurt you for so long. I was hurt and lost but I think finally we are both on the same page. I just want you to know that I love you. I love you at 197 lbs and I will love you at whatever weight you are because you got me here. And that's why every night, I never forget to name you, my body, as one of my most important gratitudes. You have never failed me and I will always love you for that.

Love,
Me

Getting Unstuck

I saw my therapist today. If you think once you've lost weight all your problems go away, wrong! 😂  I never for a minute thought that but since hitting my goal weight, it's been rocky. I knew I needed to talk to someone about all of the feelings.

We talked about a lot of things surrounding my weight loss journey. I told her about being body shamed at the scale on goal day and that that I may have rocked the boat about the need for a bit more sensitivity at the scales. She said that I was a pioneer, challenging the status quo. Ugh... I told her it was a role I wan't looking for and a role I wasn't really comfortable taking on.

I also told her about my social media following and how I used it for accountability but that I also found comfort in knowing others were going through similar struggles. I talked about how losing my protective fat layer has left me feeling naked and vulnerable. Because if people don't like me now, it's not because I'm fat but because they don't like my personality. Ouch!

Here are some of the main themes that came up:

• I pull way too much value from what other people think of me and feel I'm only worthy if praise is coming from others. Yeah... this has been my since as long as I can remember. A good girl is a loved girl and love means I'm okay!
  
• I need to start loving myself more and not finding my worth from what other people think of me.
  
• If I'm a true leader, I will keep negative comments on my posts and deal with them with respect by saying "I'm sorry you feel that way and good luck with your journey." These negative people are dealing with their own major issues and I should treat them compassionately and FORGIVE them. Ugh... sounds horrible. lol I know this is so true. I need to live it.
  
• I absorb way too much of other people's energy because I think that I need to fix everybody else's problems. I need to stay in my own hula hoop. If I respect other people, I should respect that they can take care of their own shit. I am responsible TO people but not FOR people.
  
• I don't have to keep myself off social media but I need to understand that it's not where I should pull my self worth. Noted.
  
• I explained to her that I realized at what point food became my drug. Somewhere around age 8. She encouraged me to talk to the little girl and remind her why she is special. It's pretty simple... "Little Nat - you're good enough. You've always been good enough and you will always be good enough. You have a beautiful soul,  you are loving and an intelligent girl and you should love the person you are and the woman you will become."

My thoughts on therapy: therapy is not for f*cked up people. Therapy is for anyone who wants to get unstuck. I love Chalene Johnson and as a business coach she requires her students to get therapy because it makes them better entrepreneurs. Why would you not get help to unstick yourself? Who doesn't want to be better? 

Anyway, I feel so much better. I always say that when you feel emotionally constipated, you should go to therapy because it's much like having a huge emotional dump. Crude but true. It feels soooo good! And I am and will always be a work in progress. One thing I have learned as I get older: the older I get, the more I realize I know NOTHING!

Does any of this resonate for anyone else? I'm guessing that many of us compulsive overeaters deal with many of these themes. Do you like therapy?

Know Your Normal

I'd be lying if I said things have been peachy lately. I've been struggling with my mood, anxiety, back issues, odd food choices (craving more carbs), energy and my usual sparkly spirit feels slightly dulled lately. Truthfully, before I decided to take my health very seriously last year, that's pretty much how I felt all the time and just thought that was my normal. But once I started to feel healthy, happy and fit again, I realised that I had a new normal and became quite aware when something wasn't clicking.

Well something in the last month has definitely NOT been clicking. I've been just so off and I had no idea why until my doctor's office called me on Friday.

Since the middle of January, I have felt lethargic, filled with anxiety, having increased heart palpitations with chest pain and breathlessness, dizziness, moody, trouble swallowing - just really off. I chalked it up to anxiety from the build up of stress I've had in my life in the last few months but I didn't really feel that stressed. At least not more than usual. Luckily I had a doctor's appointment scheduled in January and had her check my blood work after I told her how my heart palpitations were getting worse, especially when I ran.

Last Friday I got a call from her office and her receptionist gave me a message from her telling me that I was pretty anaemic and needed to start taking an iron supplement immediately. I know it sounds crazy but I was so relieved. Maybe this has been the reason for the shift in my normal. Immediately I thought this might be the reason for my heart palpitations but as I read the list of symptoms related to anaemia, I could check off each one:

• extreme fatigue
• feeling lethargic
• anxiety
• cold extremities
• tingling extremities
• chest pain
• heart palpitations
• dizziness
• difficulty swallowing
• moody
• brittle nails
• hair loss

Yup. I have every single symptom. But I never thought I could group them all together like that and to my surprise, anaemia causes every single symptom.

I have started taking supplements and I sure hope the symptoms lessen sooner than later. My anxiety has been through the roof because I've been feeling so bad and worrying about what it could all mean. But low iron also causes anxiety... Obviously! My body is freaking out because it can't get enough oxygen. I'd be freaking out too! I realize now that as a frequent blood donor and as a woman who probably has a pretty heavy period, my poor body had no red blood cells left.

I've been just barely maintaining my weight. With this feeling of being lethargic and anxious, all I want to do is eat all the carbs because my brain says "that makes me feel happy and satisfied". I made myself two bowls of homemade mac and cheese the other day. Hadn't done that in a very long time! I haven't been counting points since I started maintenance but I think I needed the mental break from it. Luckily, the changes I've made this year do help me keep things pretty in check. I may have mac and cheese one day but I can reign it in pretty quickly to get back on track when I need to.

But all this just proves something very important to me. When you feel good and take care of your body, you are way more capable of understanding when something isn't right. I knew there was something strange going on with my body. I didn't know what it was but I knew it wasn't in my head. Once you find your "new normal" and understand how your body is when it's at its best, you know pretty darn quickly when something is not working. Be an advocate for your health. Know your body and know when to ask for help.

Please pray for me and send me healthy vibes that the iron helps restore me to the bubbly, healthy and happy person I used to be. I haven't been posting on social media much because I find that I am very irritable and any negative remarks or comments puts me right over the edge. I need to balance myself a little here while I figure all of this out. I need to find my normal again.

Peace to all of you beautiful people xoxoxo

Nat

Update: Weight Watchers Response

A little before and after photo action! The picture on the right was taken last night, the same day I was told that if I didn't fit on the BMI I wasn't healthy. Lame... i'm not perfect but I feel pretty darn good in my skin, thank you very much. And who determines what is perfect? I think health is as perfect as it gets. The picture on the left was taken in the summer of 2015.

Update: I received a phone call from Weight Watchers Canada today the lady was very nice and said that I would be celebrated at my next meeting. We still agree to disagree about the BMI. The bane of my existence. LOL but she assured me that weight watchers is always tweaking and trying to find the best technologies to make this a better experience. So let's hope that's the case and that the program just keeps getting better with time! In the meantime, I think it did spark an important conversation not just for weight watchers but for all of us who attend meetings as well. And I guess anyone who cares about their health. Be an advocate for your health and make sure that you are at a place where you feel happy, fit and successful!

And I do love Weight Watchers with all my heart. If I didn't, I wouldn't be here and I wouldn't care so much. 💪🏻🌟💗 It's like when you watch your own kids and know they could do better. Encouraging them to push harder isn't out of hatred, it's because you know they are capable of more amazing things and because we love them. I know Weight Watchers has got it going on. ;)

My Letter to Oprah

I was supposed to hit my goal today. I was supposed to feel like a million bucks today. Instead I felt leaving the meeting room like I was 500 lbs.

So I wrote Oprah since Weight Watchers doesn't have an email. Seriously.

Hi Oprah,

First of all, I want to thank you because when I saw your commercials for Weight Watchers last year, it was the nudge I needed to get back to a program that works. And when I joined last January and saw that smart points included sugar, carbs and protein into the equation, I knew it was a game changer. I was right.

I lost 62 lbs in 8 months on the new program. I blogged, shared every meal, every workout, every milestone and every pitfall on Connect. I have almost 9,000 followers on the Canadian Connect. I have promoted the program via Instagram and gushed about how balanced it is. But there is a problem with the program. A big one. There is a huge gap between saying "beyond the scale" and honouring it.

For 8 months, I lost weight almost every week and rarely gained. But at around 195 lbs, my 5'9" frame said... whoa. No more. I stopped losing weight. Even though I was doing all the things that worked in the past, and even increasing my workouts to include lots more cardio and strength, the scale stopped moving.

In my mind, I knew that I had to get to 169 lbs if I wanted to be on the high end of the BMI and get to my goal. That's about what I weighed in high school, before babies, and I was slim back then. But I wasn't as fit as I am today. That number would be a struggle.

Last week, I met my doctor and she was floored at how good I looked and how fit I was. I told her how I had lost most of the weight in 8 months and then stopped. She said "well that's because your body is happy here. Are you happy here," she asked me. I knew for months, that, at a size 10, I was most definitely happy in my skin. "Sounds like you hit your goal to me," she said. And with that she gave me a note to let my meeting leaders know that I was at my goal weight, a weight I knew I could maintain without starving myself. She told me that most modern doctors don't look at the BMI because it is such a poor representation of health. It doesn't take into account how muscular people like me are and doesn't tell anything about a person's lifestyle or health. She was more concerned that I was fit, exercising, eating well and HAPPY. She wanted to make sure I felt good in my heart and mind.

Today was my worst day on the program when it should have been my best. I walked up to the scale and gave the meeting receptionist my note and explained I had a goal weight set by my doctor. First, she was irritated because the doctor hadn't put my weight on the note. Why that matters, I don't know. It was dated and had my name on it. Then she proceeded to ask me what my height was and showed me what "I should weigh" on the chart. Pointing obnoxiously at the number. She then told me "and you can NEVER work for us. Not that you ever wanted to." Wow, your loss weight watchers. The way I've been helping people on connect, making up low point recipes, sharing my vulnerabilities with the world, answering questions about the program, just to be kind... yeah you don't need me anyway. I work for free apparently. And little did she know, the territory manager had already sent me the paperwork to apply.

I never got a congratulations. I never got "a wow, great work." I was made to feel like a fat pig. And as someone who has been obese her entire adult life and finally is at a healthy weight at 38, this was devastating. I have a food addiction. Not a day goes by where I don't want to overeat, or binge, or sabotage myself. When I go to Weight Watchers, my safe place. my hope is that my weight will be treated with the most careful sensitivity because it is my battle Every. Single. Day. I am very sensitive about it. 

I sat down in shock, started talking to my friend and completely broke down in tears. The way I played out this day in my head for the last year was not what materialized. Not even close. As it turns out, because there is such a lack of leaders in the Winnipeg area, our meeting was cancelled. Irony... Yet, they don't need good people like me who work the program and promote the program for all its strength. Nope. Don't fit on the chart. We don't need you.

Yes, this could be a receptionist having a bad day but it's such a bigger problem than that one woman. During my plateau, which by the way, maintaining my weight for the last five months wasn't a vacation, it was the same hard work as before. If anything, I had increased my cardio like mad to try to budge the scale. Anyway... I would step on that scale and always felt deflated. If you aren't losing at the scale, you aren't getting much love. It's not like I wasn't trying! Frick, it was hard work! But the receptionists never made me feel like I was still working hard. They didn't honour that battle because the number didn't tell the story.

I left every meeting feeling like a horrible failure despite my hard work. But while the program is "beyond the scale" we all know it's not "beyond the scale". Your success is measured, evaluated, honoured by what that stupid scale and those stupid charts say. I know you need to be able to reward people and measure people's success... but this isn't cutting it anymore. I left that meeting today feeling fatter then I did 60 lbs ago. That is not acceptable.

I had one of the greatest validations of my hard work last week. It trumped (ha!) the goal weight victory. Last summer, I learned to run. It was hard. I have flat feet, I was over 200 lbs. It was hard but I did it. I ran my first 5k at the end of October and finished in the middle of the pack. Not bad for my first official race! 

I hadn't run since that race in October but have been doing crazy intense cardio and strength training home workouts. Last week, our horrible frigid winter had a slight warming trend so I thought I'd go for a run. I put spikes on my shoes and ran outside on the slippery snow and ice. I was worried I'd have a hard time because I hadn't run in such a long time. But as I started running I realized it was the same as it always had been but there was one major difference. I had shaved 2 minutes off my best time per km during that run. I used to run an average pace of 7:45/km, the other day I did it in 5:50/km. I was so incredibly proud. All the cross training, building muscle, working my butt off paid off. But do you think the woman at the scale cared that my run time is in the top 25%? Does she know I can hold a plank on my toes for a minute? No. She looks at me and only sees the number on the scale.

So while I may not fit on some chart and 196 lbs may not sound like a goal weight, I AM STRONG. I AM CONFIDENT. I AM MORE THAN A NUMBER. And I will not let any number dictate my inner and outer beauty.

I know you are intelligent, influential and forward-thinking and my thought is that you are probably working on making these types of changes already. I felt compelled to message you directly because I know that you know my struggle. I know you battle your weight every day like I do. We didn't become overweight because we are lazy or stupid, we have a legitimate addiction. Our bodies don't respond to food the same way other people do. So this is our struggle and battle every single day. Because of this, there needs to be more education and training for staff when it comes to compassion and sensitivity towards meeting members. That woman body shaming me at the scale is completely unacceptable especially on a day that was supposed to be the culmination of all my hard work. I ran to the first drive-thru and ate more than I should have. I hadn't done that in a long time. That says a lot.

Thanks so much for listening to my story. As a filmmaker, journalist, writer and communicator myself, you are without a doubt one of my greatest inspirations and I'm very proud of the woman you have become in your life and thank you for always being a champion for women all over the world.

Sincerely,

Natalie

The Happiness Goal

I remember posting pictures of myself in my new bathing suits over the summer. At the time, I was still losing weight but I felt phenomenal. I remember saying that I felt so good exactly where I was. I embraced my curves and was channeling Marilyn Monroe. But when I returned from my Disney vacation in September, my body decided it was done losing weight and as I strived toward the goal that fell within the BMI numbers Weight Watchers follows, I knew that it was completely unrealistic for my tall and muscular build. All of a sudden, I felt like I couldn't enjoy my success because I had this number hanging over me. A number I knew I'd likely never hit or be able to maintain.

After the first few months of my weight stalling, I knew I was officially in a plateau. Dread... People kept telling me it would happen because I lost weight relatively quickly and consistently. Sure enough, it showed up. Thankfully, I continued to take measurements as I plateaued and I know that I lost many inches over those 5 months. But the heavy feeling I felt every time I stepped on the scale was so awful. No matter what I did, and I did EVERYTHING, the weight wouldn't come off. I tried calorie cycling, carb cycling, increasing my workouts, decreasing my workouts, etc., etc.

But deep down inside, I felt happy where I was. I wanted someone to say "you can be happy here." I needed to know it was okay for me to be proud wearing a size 10. I wanted someone to say "you have a healthy and beautiful body at 195 lbs." And that validation came from my doctor, the one opinion that means the most to me.

When my doctor walked into the examination room she said, "wow! I didn't even recognize you!" I told her that I had lost 62 lbs in 2016 and that the weight had mostly come off in the first 8 months and that I had hit a plateau for the last 5 months. She immediately responded "so your body is happy at this weight. Are you happy at this weight?" OMG.... Alleluia. YESSSSS!!! I told her I was so pleased with where I was and that I felt like I wanted to maintain at this weight. She asked me what I had been doing for exercise and was thrilled with my efforts. I told her I was doing Weight Watchers and that I was concerned with my goal weight falling within the BMI. She told me that she doesn't follow the BMI and that people who are built like her and I, tall and muscular, would have a difficult time achieving that goal.

And this is why I love her...

She said to me, "as long as you are eating well, being active and can maintain the weight you are at, I'm happy." But most importantly, she wanted to make sure that I was in the right frame of mind and that I was truly content at this weight. I told her how I was so proud of what I had done and that I've never felt better in mind, body and spirit. That was the most important criteria for her. She wants me to be in a place where I can continue to live this way and that's it is something that I can sustain without drastically altering my diet. And she just wants me to be healthy and happy.

I left my appointment feeling 25 lbs lighter. The pressure I was feeling to conform to some number that wasn't made for me had become so intense and all of a sudden, that heaviness had been lifted. I was free.

Free to love my body for what it is.
Free to continue to be healthy on my terms.
Free to continue my journey by helping others.
Free to continue encourage other men and women to find their ideal body type and embrace it.

And the most magical thing happened tonight when I was at my hip-hop class. As I looked in the full-length dance mirror, I barely recognized that adorable girl with the long, lean body in the mirror. She's not a size 2 but she's strong, healthy, beaming and comfortable in her skin. And isn't that what we all want at the end of the day?

I think that's when you know you have truly hit your goal.

My Weight Loss Everest

It's been 369 days since I restarted Weight Watchers but in some ways, it feels like I'm stepping on the scale for the first time. I feel frustrated, I feel angry, I feel like I have a mountain to climb... but I only have another 10-20 pounds to lose. But this leg of the race feels like this is my weight loss Everest. And it's killing me.

I've lost 62 freaking pounds but for the last few months I can't feel thrilled with that because I'm looking ahead to what I have yet to accomplish. According to Weight Watchers, I should be somewhere around the 169 pound mark and yet my body is happy hovering around 194 (I am 5'9"). I'm wearing a size M-L and a size 10 in pants. This should make me so happy considering I started at a size 22 but I feel like I can't enjoy my successes because I'm controlled by the scale.

I would say that I eat pretty healthy 90% of the time. My diet consists of the occasional low calorie sprouted grain bread, lots of veggies and lean protein, some dairy in the form of cheese (only 1/2 an ounce or so a day), the occasional fruit and the odd treats like dark chocolate, low cal air popped popcorn, jello pudding. I'm starting to think that the only way this last bit will leave my body is if I go completely carb and sugar free. And frankly, I don't want to live like that. That will NOT be sustainable for me. Especially since I know I have a food addiction. Removing it all would be a recipe for disaster. Or would it?

I am currently doing an intense workout program called "Core de Force". I've been working out every day for 16 except for one because I donated blood that day. I know I'm building muscles and the exciting thing is that my back pain and knee pain have been significantly reduced. Definitely a NON SCALE VICTORY. And while Weight Watchers talks about Beyond the Scale, at the end of the day, it is the scale that says you had a good week or you had a bad week. At least from the way they measure our success.

Questions rolling around in my brain:

• If this is indeed a 5 month plateau, when will it end?
• Is it a plateau or is my body happy with where it's at?
• Will I have to remove all sugar and carbs from my diet to get to my goal?
• Am I concerned with getting to a certain size because that's what society dictates is appropriate or am I striving for a goal that isn't mine?
• If my doctor does make my goal higher, and says I'm okay with where I'm at as far as weight, will I be okay with stopping here and hope a bit more eventually comes off? Will that be a cop out?
• Is this a seasonal issue? Is my body retaining weight or holding back on weight loss because of the shorter days and cold winter? My plateau started around October. Interesting article here.

I am meeting with my doctor and I'd like her to check a few things for me like thyroid and other levels in my body. Maybe I'm lacking certain minerals or maybe I'm deficient in something? I'm also interested to see how she measures my health. From where I stand, I've never felt or looked better in my life but it will good to get a professional's advice.

I'm feeling so conflicted, discouraged and lost.

The Year I Chose Me

It's been one year since I restarted Weight Watchers. For the billionth time. The truth is, if I stick to the plan, it works. Plain and simple. The problem is, I've never stuck to it for more than 6 months but for some reason, this time was different.

January 12, 2016 vs January 12, 2017

My "Why"

We had a few tough years in our home. My mother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer and died within 9 months. My husband and I weren't really happy with our jobs at the time. And with two of us being food addicts and emotional eaters, it wasn't pretty. We both gained quite a bit of weight. I was tipping the scale at almost 260 lbs and I was in pain. I had a herniated disc that was getting worse as the weight accumulated and, for almost a year, I hadn't had a decent night's sleep. I would toss and turn back and forth from one side to the other hoping the pain would disappear. I was exhausted. Walking up the stairs killed my knees and just walking in general had become uncomfortable.

But it was the picture. That dreaded picture that someone else posted on Facebook that made me crumble inside. I looked huge and couldn't believe what I saw. This was in November 2015. It was taken on a shoot for a documentary I was writing. After I saw it I vowed I would not attend the premiere of it looking like that and feeling the way I felt.

After Christmas, which was a food fest of epic proportions, I had the worse pain at night that I had had in a long time. My rib cage was sore all around and my back was hating me too. THIS HAD TO STOP. I was 36 and I felt like a frail and broken person.

January 12, 2016 my life changed when I walked back into Weight Watchers.

Getting Back on the Program

Just walking into my first meeting, I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I don't know why but I just knew I was home and that if I did the work, asked for help and stuck to it, my life would vastly improve. I was so happy to see my mom's best friend, or as I call her, Mom 2.0. at our Winnipeg meeting. I had no idea she would be there so it was nice to have a familiar face.

Weight Watchers Game Changer

I'm going to get a little "ranty" here but hear me out. When I looked over the new "smart points" material on my first day and saw that carbs, protein and sugar were added to the points calculations, I said to myself "FINALLY!!!" I could never understand how sugar wasn't in the equation in the past! It seemed so utterly ridiculous to me when I had done previous programs like points plus. I knew this would be the game changer for me.

After joining, I heard so many people crying online about how they hated smart points and wanted to go back to points plus or flex points or whatever it was last. "But I can't eat all my favourite treats now. They are so high in points." Um... sorry but duh. That's the point. Weight Watchers finally clued in that having a high fibre, sugary granola bar for 3pts is not equal to having 4 ounces of chicken for 3 points. The new points system gently nudged people to eating clean, nutrient dense foods instead of processed, sugary crap. Plain and simple. You want to get better for life? This is what is going to do it for you. Not cramming in as many 100 cal bags of chips as you can.

*rant over*

My Mantra

When I started I knew I couldn't look at the big picture because the though of losing 80 to 100 lbs seemed impossible. So from the beginning my mantra became:

My goals were also chopped up into small morsels. I focused on getting my 5% charm, my 10% charm, my 25 lb charm, my 50 lb charm and so on. (75 lbs... I'm coming for you!)

Some days my goal was just to get to the next meal without bingeing or losing control. But that's what helped me most.

The Little Things Add Up

Here is a list of things that have helped me along the way:

• Start moving right away. I was 257 lbs when I walked to the pool deck for my aquafit class last January but I wasn't going to let that stop me. I felt like the fattest person around but I went to those classes every week, 3 times a week and those people supported me and watched me shrink. I am forever grateful for meeting such sweet people in that pool. Most of them over 60. But they always had such wisdom to share and big smiles for me.
  
• Track every single bite and don't stop. I went 200+ days of tracking straight, never stopping and then decided to eat mindfully on vacation in September and not track. Well I did fine. Only gained a pound while at Disney World but it was just after that time that my plateau started. Coincidence? Non... Je ne pense pas!
  
  
• Track but don't make yourself crazy. There are a few people I have encountered on Weight Watchers who are so scared to calculate a point wrong they get frantic. First of all RELAX! Being a perfect calculator of points won't make you lose more or less weight. The magic comes more in the keeping track and being accountable. Just do your best to find the closest calculations and you will be fine. I promise! Just track as best as you can!
  
• Water, Water, Water. And then more water. Whether it's with crystal light, tea or plain, just get it down your throat. It really makes a difference in how much you lose. I am a bit of a Coke Zero fan and my rule is, if I want a glass, I need to guzzle a glass or water first.
  
• Post on Connect as much as humanly possible. Instagram works too! My online community support and accountability was 75% of the reason I was successful this year. Hands down! I shared almost all my meals through photos and all of my nervous breakdowns through irrational, sappy posts. And yes, there were many.
  
• Get naked. I'm mean this both literally and figuratively. Take undie pics of yourself when you start. You might hate them on day 1 but you will thank yourself on day 40, day 150 and day 356. Having comparison shots is everything! But also get naked by being vulnerable. It's the scariest shit you can do but man, does it ever fill your heart when you realize how your struggles help others to know they aren't alone. But also that you aren't alone either.
  
• Don't Compare. This is so hard to do but people lose weight at such different rates for such different reasons. People who have more to lose might lose more quickly. Women over forty might lose more slowly because metabolism slows down as we get older. Men lose more quickly than women much of the time (and we have to have babies. Don't even get me started on how unfair that crap is!)
  
• Don't Hide Your Journey. I know so many people hide that they are on weight loss programs. And maybe for some it's necessary if there are toxic people in their lives that will sabotage them. For me, telling people about how hard battling my weight is feels more like relief. They finally understand that this is an addiction for me and I'm not just lazy and unmotivated. Food is like a drug and as I explain how hard weight loss is for me to sustain, I get more understanding than anything. There was a time in my life where I hid my pain and the emotional turmoil I was going through. I lost most of my friends during that time because I shut people out but I also gained 100 lbs in my late teens because of the secrets. It took me until this year to lose most of it, 17 years later.
  
• Find your soulmate workout. For me, I must move my body every single day. It helps my mood, weight loss and improves my eating. A soulmate workout is the workout you love to do even on the days when you can't fathom working out. Mine is "Cise" from Beachbody. It's hip hop dance and it's so fun! It's still challenging but it feels like a dance party instead. I also love walking outside.
  
• Help others succeed. Wow... I can't stress this enough. This doesn't mean be a know-it-all and give unsolicited advice to every heavy person you know. Definitely not. We all roll our eyes at those people. It means telling your friend on Connect that you are proud of her going to her first spin class. It's giving your struggling meeting buddy a hug at Weight Watchers. It's taking your pal out to her favourite point-friendly restaurant so you can talk workouts and point-friendly food all lunch long. (Leah, I'm looking at you). And wow, if you are at goal and you can, work with Weight Watchers! What a great way to keep you in check and how beautiful to help other people get healthy and happy. Service is an endless gift that makes you better and other people better.
  
  
• Plateaus might happen. I hope for you they don't but if they do, don't do like me. LOL I was so mad when I continued to do the things that worked and the scale wouldn't budge. Then I tried difference things to see if it would budge but it didn't. UGH!! So frustrating. But what my ever-so-smart weight watchers friends told me was true. When your body is ready to keep going, it will. You just have to keep doing your best and ride it out. YOU GUYS WERE RIGHT!!
  
  
• Don't give unsolicited advice. I know it's easy to tell everyone how to lose weight once you're on a roll but don't do it unless someone specifically asks. I am very careful not to share my opinions or ideas with people unless they ask first. Sometimes people need to vent without having a list of solutions thrown at them. Most of us know what to do but we just want to be heard and understood.
  
  
• Some people are assholes. This is true in all facets of life but they can come out in droves when you are feeling good about yourself and finding something that works. Saboteurs will be everywhere: in your family, at work, within your friends and heck, I've even had some through the Weight Watchers community. Don't let them get in your head! I had one member on Connect tell me that maybe I should just stick to posting to Instagram. I blocked her and posted on Connect even more. Thanks, hun! Mwah. Another told me I was an idiot for describing my journey the way I did. Blocked him too. I ain't got room for haters!
  
• Educate yourself. Last year wasn't just about learning Weight Watchers and sticking to it. For a few years now, I've done a lot of personal development reading, listening to food/nutrition related podcasts and documentaries and absorbing as much as I can about fitness and physical/spiritual health. It's changed me but has also given me the tools to make better choices for me. This life is so short. I want to learn how to live it the best way I can.
  
• Practice Gratitude. A few years ago, I also started to practice gratitude every day. Not just at night but in the moment as well. Did you ever happen to really stop and look at a sunrise? Like really stop what you're doing and bask in its utter beauty? In those moments, stop and say thank you. Thank you to God, the Universe, your mom.... Just thanks someone. When you realize how blessed you are every day, you can't help but feel good. And when you start to feel grateful, you will attract even more abundance into your life. My life changed when I started this. Yours will too.

Beyond The Scale

Yes I lost 62 lbs last year which was AMAZING but what I gained beyond the scale was what left the most impact on my heart and spirit. Here's a list of amazing things I never thought I'd be able to do but I did:

• Ran 5k under 37 minutes
• Ran my first 5K race. Read about that here.
• Wrote a documentary and spoke at the screening event
• Did my first spin class
• Went on all the scary rides at Disney World. Read about that here.
• Can easily do pushups on my toes
• Rid myself of most of my back pain
• Learned to take work that would fuel me
• Learned to say no a lot more
• Started my 4th blog?!? I can't  remember how many I've had over the last 12 years but that's about right. Oddly enough, my first blog was all about my second time joining Weight Watchers 10 years ago. 
• Had a huge epiphany about my food addiction. Read about it here.
• I met soulmates over the Internet. People who shared my battle and struggles, who without even knowing me in person, lifted me up and cheered me along the way. I think as people, our strongest urge is to connect with other beings, especially those who understand what we are going through. My friendships through Connect and Instagram have been the fuel to my fire this year. So thanks all of you who were part of the ride. I have some pretty exciting news coming up in regards to my Weight Watchers journey. I can't wait to share it all with you soon!

My Best Year... So Far!

The year 2016 will be one I will always remember as the year I was most proud of me. As selfish as it sounds to put yourself first, especially when you are a wife and mom, it is the least selfish thing you can do. When I decided to make myself better, it made me a better wife, a better mom, a better daughter, a better sister, a better friend and a better person. 

When you lose weight, the first thing people say is "wow, you must feel like a new person." But that's not really what it is. I think I just uncovered more of the REAL me. And I'm glad I did.

Creamy Chicken Chili Soup - A Happy Mistake

I love, love a good white bean, creamy chicken chili but I needed to find a recipe that would be point friendly and Instant Pot friendly. After looking over a few recipes, I decided to make up my own. However, instead of making a creamy chicken chili, I had too much liquid in my Instant pot and I ended up with a Creamy Chicken Chili Soup. BUT IT WAS AMAZING!!!

Here is the recipe:

CREAMY CHICKEN CHILI SOUP

Yields: 8 servings
Smart Points per serving: 6sp

Ingredients:

3 chicken breasts
1 tsp olive oil
1/2 onion, diced
2 tsp garlic, minced
2 tsp cumin
1 tsp chili powder
1/4 tsp cayenne powder
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
1 can Romano beans, rinsed
3 cups chicken broth
8oz light cream cheese

Garnish:

Avocado slices
Jalapeño pepper, chopped
Cilantro, chopped
Tortilla strips

Method:

1. In your Instant Pot, use the sauté setting to cook your onion and garlic in the olive oil. Cook for about 5 minutes until the onions are translucent. Add all of your spices into the pot and stir. Let cook for a minute until fragrant.

2. Add the remaining ingredients starting with the chicken, beans, stock and top with cream cheese. Cook the soup for 15 on high pressure using the chili/soup setting. Then use NPR for 15 minutes. Once the 15 minutes are up, use QR to let the remainder of the steam escape.

3. Once the steam has been released, remove the chicken and shred. Using a whisk, you'll want to break down the bits of cream cheese until the soup is creamy and smooth. If you find your soup is too runny at this point, you could make a slurry with a tbsp of cornstarch and a bit of water and add it to the soup. Put your shredded chicken back in and stir. Let thicken for a few minutes on the warming setting.

4. Garnish with fresh avocado, jalapeño, ground pepper, tortilla strips and cilantro. You could also use some Sriracha to add more heat to the soup. I don't like making anything too spicy because my little guy doesn't like spicy food. We just adjust our own portions to taste.

This soup is creamy, cheesy, warm and feels so indulgent.

Everyone in the family love it plus it has lots of protein to keep you full. Big WINNER!

Snack Attack!

Quick... you have this sudden urge to snack but you're on Weight Watchers and you can't just eat a bag of chips anymore. What do you do? You ask your pal Nat for her all-time favourite Weight Watchers friendly snacks, of course! Here's my list:

Boom Chicka Pop

My favourite snack! Light, tender, perfectly salted kernels of popcorn. And only 1 sp per cup! You can find it at Costco, Sobeys, Superstore... Most places have it. Just make sure it's the lightly salted. The kettle corn is way higher!

Laughing Cow Cheese

These are so versatile on crackers, on their own with fruit... I will spread one wedge over two Ryvita Crackers for 3sp. Sometimes I'll put salsa on top of that. Yum! Most wedges are 1sp each.

Ryvita Crispbreads
These rye crackers are kind of dry but when topped with cheese or peanut butter, you can't go wrong for 1 sp for a big cracker. I usually have 2 with some Laughing Cow Cheese.

PB2

PB2 is a dehydrated peanut butter powder in which some of the fat is extracted making it really low in points. You can have 2 tbsp of the powder for 1sp. I reconstitute it with water and have it with fruit. I also like mixing it with 95% light Cool Whip as a topping for fruit. So good! Most health food stores like GNC carry it.

Kraft Whipped Peanut Butter and Dip

Sometimes you just need the "real deal" peanut butter. Kraft Whipped Peanut Butter is 2sp for 1 tbsp. I will have this on my toast in the morning with banana or as a dip for apples. A good hit of protein, too.

Veggie Straws

These are controversial. Only because I'm addicted to them. 😜  I actually don't have them in my house anymore because I can't stop. But they do satisfy that salty, fatty, crunchy craving when it arises, if you can stop at just one portion. You can have 34 Veggie Straws for 4 sp. Most stores, including Costco, sell them.

Frozen Fruit
I especially love frozen cherries. As long as they aren't blended into a smoothy or have sugar added, frozen fruit are 0 smart points. I will slightly warm berries or cherries in the microwave and then top with Cool Whip or mix them up with Jello Mousse Cups or Jello Pudding which are 2sp each.

Jell-o Fat-Free Pudding Cups
These come in various flavours but also in mousse form. They are 2 sp each and you can find them in the refrigerator sections at most stores. The chocolate mousse mixed with frozen cherries and topped with 95% Fat Free Cool Whip is like black forest cake. For Realz!

Yours Naturally Turkey Pepperettes
You can find these tasty pepperettes at Costco and they are 1sp each. I find if I'm really hungry, protein is always the snack of choice. It keeps you full longer!

34 Degrees Crisps

These are thin little wafer-like crisps that I picked up at Costco (available at other stores too). I think the idea of these is they are a great vehicle (low cal/low fat vehicle) to hold other yummy toppings like Laughing Cow Cheese, salsa, cream cheese, lox, etc. You can have 9 crackers for 1sp!! Nice!

Hard Boiled Eggs
We are big egg fans in our house and now that we have the Instant Pot Duo-60, we can make our hard boiled in eggs in way less time and keep them in the fridge. Eggs are 2sp and packed with so many amazing vitamins and nutrients. Go eggs!!

WARNING

When it comes to snacking, you need to know what your trigger foods are. At our meeting today, one of the ladies was saying how if you like chips, just get the individual 100 calorie packs. If you aren't a crunchy, salty, fatty addict like I am, that's a perfectly reasonable idea. HOWEVER.... if you know that you won't just have one pack but maybe 6, don't put those foods in your house. Believe me, it's not worth the temptation. I can have Boom Chicka Pop popcorn in my house because I can have my 4 cups and stop there. I can't do the same for Veggie Straws. Be honest with yourself and know your limits.

What are you snacking on?

Break Your Fast!

With so many new people starting Weight Watchers, I thought I would share a list of foods I regularly eat for breakfast. (I'll do snacks, lunch and dinner in other posts) It took me quite a few months to find my rhythm but how I eat now has become quite automatic which is good because I don't have to think too hard. Who needs thinking too hard?

Start the day off right!

Here is a list of foods I always have on hand for breakfast. I'll add a few other things that I know my fellow Weight Watchers friends also eat to complete the list. Keep in mind, I'm shopping in Canada.

Lou's Back Bacon

Found at Superstore and Walmart. 2sp for 5 pieces. I only have one for breakfast so it is 0 points. Winning!! This back bacon gets nice and crispy and has a nice flavour.

Little Big Bread

This bread is made right here in Canada and is a low calorie sprouted bread. You can have 2 slices for 3sp or 1 slice for 1sp. I eat it with eggs, pb, grilled cheese sandwiches. It's great. Flavour is awesome too!

Laughing Cow Cheese

I use this spread on Little Big Bread or Ryvita Crackers as a snack but I eat it on the Nat Special every day. You can find out more about my fave breakfast here. Most wedges are 1sp each but check to make sure. They vary.

Eggs
The most perfect food in the world. If you don't believe me, read this. Eggs are the best protein to have on hand - especially in hard boiled form for snacks. You can make them so quickly if you have an Instant Pot Duo-60 I got for Christmas. Yay!! BEST TOY EVER!! (I will be posting way more about the Instant Pot soon). But for breakfast, I just fry mine in a smidge of butter or without. But mostly with. :D A little fat won't kill ya! Eggs are 2 sp each. Many people will also have egg whites on hands which you can add to omelettes and to bulk up a regular egg without adding points.

Also, my friend has a farm and I usually get eggs from her. I'm an egg snob!

Oats in a Jar

I actually don't eat these as a breakfast but save them in the fridge for snacks but other people love them for both. Here is just one combination but you can do anything you'd like. I describe it as more of a cereal than an oatmeal. I think that's why I like it! Just interchange the fruit, add cocoa powder, PB2, etc. Fun! Here are the basics:

1/4 cup skyr greek yogurt (President's Choice brand from Superstore) (1sp)
1/4 cup unsweetened almond milk (0 sp)
1/4 cup steel cut oats (4 sp)
Fruit of choice: banana, berries, cooked pureed pumpkin, etc.
Other flavours: vanilla, spices like cinnamon, cocoa powder, PB2, etc.

Mix it all up in a mason jar and let chill overnight in the fridge. Stir it up in the morning and enjoy!



Veggies
I used to make a deconstructed omelette for breakfast before I started making the Nat special. I basically sautéed a bunch of veggies in a bit of olive oil and served it with an egg and spicy mayo on top. A nice low-carb meal.

Fruit
I usually have half a banana for breakfast. Why? Because I like it?! I like the balance fruit brings to my breakfasts.

Coffee Creamer
I still use my FULL FAT hazelnut coffee creamer. Since I only have one cup a day usually, I count the 2 smart points and move on. It's worth it for me.

Kodiak Cakes Power Cakes
Kodiak Cakes are a high protein pancake and waffle mix. I'm not a big pancake fan personally but I know a lot of my wwers homies love these because the added protein makes them lower in points and they fill you up really well. Topped with low fat Cool Whip and fruit or PB and banana, a little side of Lou's Back Bacon - you're laughing! You can get Kodiak Cakes at select Costco locations in Canada.


I hope this helps you with your breakfast options. I tend to keep my breakfasts between 4 to 6 smart points so I can enjoy more food later. Ha! 30 smart points a day don't get you very far. You have to be strategic :)

What are your fave breakfasts?